I have a cartoon pinned to my desk that I have been looking at on a regular basis since the economy tanked in September 2008. The cartoon is from a playbill I picked up at the Shaw Festival when I took a girlfriend to see “Mrs. Warren’s Profession” at Niagara-on-the-Lake in the late 1980s. The quote on this playbill is from Act II and it reads as follows:
“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.”
I have another saying by George Bernard Shaw beside it that reads, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.”
I have tried to live my life in part by these words and when the chips have been down I read them again to get inspiration but every now and again inspiration is thankfully served through the words and actions of the people I meet. To that end, I had lunch yesterday with a friend I have known in the commercial real estate community for many years. In an industry known for being cutthroat she has been a breath of fresh air who has always been honest, forthright and a pleasure with whom to do business. Regardless of what industry we are in, there are people we all know who, all things being equal, we would rather bring our business to. She is one of those people – and to be honest I hope our fly shop is one of those businesses…
We had not seen one another for some time and in the middle of comparing notes on what has been going on in our lives she announced she is leaving her job this Friday, getting married in 2 weeks and, for the first time in her life, staying home. I listened with a smile on my face as she told me about the man who is about to become her husband. They met at a golf tournament 3 years ago and he immediately asked her out but she said no. He pursued her, wouldn’t take no for an answer and his persistence eventually won her heart. While I have not met him I have heard he is a great guy. He also happens to head up a large company and has done quite well for himself. He has done so well in fact that he has a ‘large’ home in the west end of Toronto, a cottage in Muskoka, a sailboat he keeps year round in the British Virgin Islands – and, more importantly, the time to enjoy them.
She is now driving a Porsche convertible and if you don’t know her you might think she is one of those wealthy people Canadians love to hate. You know the ones: nice house, great car and more than a good income but annoyingly self-absorbed and a pain in the ass to be around. The truth is they both earned their money by working their tails off for years and they are both really nice people. Frankly, she is in many respects the kind of woman any man would love to have in his life. She is smart, attractive, energetic, has a great sense of humour and is fun to be around. She likes a stick shift, can operate a boat, loves the outdoors and can keep up with sharks in the boardroom as easily as she can with kids in the living room. I am truly lucky to call her a friend.
The irony in all of this is she knows what having nothing is like. In a previous life she struggled as a single mother and is a cancer survivor but through all of the valleys she has experienced she has held herself with a grace that few people have in the best of times – let alone during those times she experienced. In a word, she has true ‘class’ and I wish her all the happiness that awaits her. No one deserves it more.
As we talked about where her life is heading she paused and said, “You know, I am lucky to have survived some of the bad parts of my life – but I am also lucky to have had them.”
When I asked what she meant she replied, “I would never have imagined that my life would have taken this turn but coming from where I have been, I appreciate it more because of the experiences I have had. I wouldn’t change a thing. Not the cancer. Not the divorce. Not raising kids on my own. Not a thing. I wouldn’t change a thing because these experiences have made me realize how fortunate I now am.”
I pray that I never experience the lows she has seen but if I do, I hope that I carry myself with at least half the courage she has displayed. As we parted this afternoon we smiled, I wished her well and thought to myself, “Luck is truly what you make it.”
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